Why?
Why did i make this website?
I registered whyamifailing.com on august 6 2025, i made a post, and did nothing. I got 140 visitors in that time. So people have read my rant that i posted, now i deleted it. I was in a dark place, maybe still am, but its not something i want to be reminded off. Charlie kirk got shot, and stuff hasnt changed.
I registered, whyimsucceeding.online a week after my birthday, 40+ now, woohoo, but i am gratefull for that, i never thought i would make it to this age, i think many men think like that. But i am gratefull for it, ok my life is a mess right now, massive debt, health is ok, but can be much better, im lost, and feel lonely allot.
I want to succeed offcourse, i think im already doing that, but it doesnt feel that way.
Thats why i started this blog, cause i just wanted something to get my thoughts away, i tried journaling, but it feels useless.
Ive listened and still do listen to allot of motivational stuff, mostly Kanye now, i can relate to him, i listened to allot of Jim Rohn, Brian Tracy, Bob Proctor, i love bob, listened till he died, his live shows where awesome, and still his Vault video is amazing, think i listened to that 50 times. But i havent changed. Things got much worse, and not because of action, but because of inaction and a lack of decision.
Tho i want to be better, allot better, i know i can be better, im not dumb or anything, im pretty smart actually, just lazy i guess. I have many skills, im a Chef, dietrary Chef even, i got diplomas for IT, ive rebuild cars and bikes. I did allot. But i havent found that 1 thing, that i want to do for the rest of my life, so ive bin stuck, doing nothing and everything, but just not consistent. I love the quote from Venom, or the end scene from Forest gump.
And i dont want to live like that, being pushed arround, having no control.
This blog, hopefully gives me control, its something im doing, out of my own free will. And seeing 100 visitors, its pretty cool.
So what to do now.
Ive bin listening allot to Professor Jiang of the channel Predictive History, i highly recommend people watching his series. It gave me some inside into what i already believed.
Im not religious, tho ive read and learned allot of different religions, it never made sence, christianity, islam, judaism, budhism, they all sound fake to me, Budhism atleast gives some better insides, but still it lacks in areas.
So prof JIang, talks about the Monad, the One. The universe itself, and that makes more sense to me. I know shit isnt random, and we had to come from somewhere, and the Monad explains that, if the Monad can create but not Imagine, then it would be rational to create a 3d being of matter that can create and imagine, so that the Monad is not just alone but also have the ability to living thru us, imagine stuff. Basicly we are also Gods, just in a material form.
After i learned that, and also listening to the Gospel of Thomas, that makes more sense to me. If the religious God, is a lower part of the Monad and it needs to steal its energy to survive, then that God is evil, i always thought that, Adam and Lilith and then Adam and Eve was the start, then killing all ppl on earth in a flood, or sacrificing his only son, thats pure evil. So if the biblical God is pure Evil, then it makas more sense that Lucifer and Jesus are not evil, but messengers from the Monad, showing that we need to look further. If the Devil gave us free will, and God punishes the people for that free will, then the snake was right.
But you better watch prof Jiang, cause i just wrote this in a nutshell it goes much deeper then that.
So with that knowledge, i should not just act if im a God, i am a God, and should live my life according to that. If the Monad will show me my life at the end, i dont want to look back at stuff i regret. And if im respawned, i want to have my odds stacked for me not against me.
So with this knowledge, i should start acting the part, the part of God.
How i will do that, i dont know. But i should start with some basic stuff i guess.
First i should start being honest to myself, i have fucked up, but i can change.
So what do i need to change and fix? Allot!
But i know that when i fixed all my problems i have now, new problems will arrise. I love the Jimmy Car bit about problems, he says problems are not a bug but a feature.
So lets start listing my problems.
1: I am in debt, not much, but enough to make me depressed, i think arround 10k.
2: My health isnt the best, im underweight, i lost 1 tooth and 1 is broken, and for a year havent fixed it or went to the dentist.
3: Im surrounded by stuff, it can fix my money issues, but im to lazy to just sell it.
4: I havent bin a great dad
5: I havent bin a good son
6: I havent bin a good friend
7: My house if pretty messy and dirty
8: Im affraid to open my mail, i have debt collectors calling and letters unopened.
9: Same with my email
10:
-
Why? Why did i make this website?I registered whyamifailing.com on august 6 2025, i made a post, and did nothing.…